Subs created by: David Coleman.
Now, I told you, the answer is no!
But, dad! All my friends got cars for their sixteenth birthdays!
This conversation is over!
Dad! Don't walk away from me!
Daddy!
- Sikowitz. - This is ridiculous.
Oh no, keep squatting! You're doing great.
But it's hard to act and squat at the same time.
Hey Sikowitz, what does the word "perilous" mean?
Perilous.
Well, it sounds like "Pear-less", which would mean you don't have any Pears.
Or any products from The Pear Store.
But that doesn't make sense because you have that phone you got all...
Ya know what? Forget it.
Hey! Squat!
Can I also squat?
When it's your turn.
I don't understand why we have to do this scene like this.
Look, there are many different types of theater.
There's realism, there's expressionism, absurdism.
And there's squatalism.
It's true, it says right here that squatalistic theater,
was originally performed by the ancient Greeks.
As a way of pleasing the mythical God, Squatros.
Look, do you want us to squat or waddle?
- Pick one. - You do both...
It's called "squaddling".
All right, let's take it from...
Hey! What does it mean if something is "spangled"?
Dang it, Tori! I only want to answer squat-related questions!
Is it my turn to squat?
No!
Come on, Cat, you take my place.
Okay!
Yay, we're squat buddies.
Hey, what does "o'er" mean o apostrophe e r?
Why are you asking these infernal questions?
Because I'm singing the national anthem,
at the Northridge College basketball game tomorrow night.
Woo!
Don't forget the lyrics.
Why would I forget the lyrics?
Because lots a people do.
True chiz. It's a tough song to sing.
I'm not gonna forget the lyrics. And even if I do, so what?
So what?
It's embarrassing to mess up the national anthem.
It's humiliating.
It ruins your life.
The video ends up on the Internet.
Then millions of people watch it, over and over.
And then laugh at you.
Over and over.
Oh, like that girl at the hockey game?
Right, in Boston.
- I saw that video. - Everyone saw it.
Instead of singing "and the rockets' red glare".
She sang "and the cockpits red hair".
She got laughed at so hard she had to leave town.
I'm not gonna forget the words.
By the dawns early ramparts so gallantly brave rockets.
Stop it!
♪ O'er the ramparts, we watched.
♪ Were so gallantly streaming...
I can't feel my legs.
[ Music ]
♪Here I am once again.
♪Feeling lost but now and then.
♪I breathe it in to let it go.
♪And you don't know where you are now.
♪And what it will come to if only somebody could hear.
♪When you figure out how.
♪You're lost in the moment.
♪You disappear.
♪You don't have to be afraid to put your dream in action.
♪You'll never gonna fade.
♪You'll be the main attraction.
♪Not a fantasy.
♪Just remember me.
♪When it turns out right.
♪Because you know that if you live in your imagination.
♪Tomorrow you'll be everybody's fascination.
♪In my victory.
♪Just remember me.
♪When I make it shine.
Uh... why are you walking so funny?
Because my thighs hurt from squatting.
Oh.
Do you want some thigh cream?
No.
Hey, look...
She's doing it again.
Why would a young teenage girl need a supply of soft drinks?
Cat's been acting weird lately. Like... Sinjin weird.
You know, this morning I saw her brushing her teeth here in the girls' bathroom.
Why were you in the girls' bathroom?
Are we talking about Cat or not?
Ya know, late last night, my mom and I were driving by here,
and I saw Cat's bike parked at the bike rack.
Weird. I wonder what's up.
Let's ask her.
[ Music ]
- Hey, Cat. - Hey.
Hi.
What's going on with you?
I saw you here early this morning, and Jade says she saw you here last night...
Everything is normal!
Cat! What are you doing? 'Scuse me! Please move, lady! Guys!
You're in the way! Hey! Wait!
Get her! Cat! Wait!
Why are you running so fast?
Stray sodas! Yes!
[ Music ]
She went in here!
Slow down, you're so fast!
Cat! Cat, where are you?!
Here, kitty kitty!
- Where is she?! - I saw her run in here.
You know, you're still walking a little bow-legged.
Are you sure you don't want some thigh cream?
[ Music ]
♪ At the twilight's, last gleaming...
I thought it was "twilight's last beaming".
No, it's gleaming.
- I think it's beaming. - Well, it's not.
Oh.
Mom, please don't confuse me, I'm already terrified!
- Of what? - Forgetting the lyrics!
There's TV cameras here and a million cell phones,
and I don't wanna mess up and be humiliated!
Then you better not forget the lyrics.
Mom!
[ Music ]
- Oh. Hi. - You run fast.
Real fast.
Oh, thanks, you guys, bye.
Hey!
What is going on with you?
Um...
Hey hey, they're about to introduce Tori!
Oh, dang, I gotta go watch Tori now.
Everyone pay attention to Tori! No more questions for Cat!
Welcome to Malkoff Arena, home of the Northridge College Saint Bernards!
[ Applause and cheers ]
And now, back from the veterinarian and freshly neutered...
Let's welcome our beloved mascot, Buck the Saint Bernard!
Woof! Woof!
Now, please rise for our national anthem,
performed tonight by local high school student Tori Vega!
Don't forget the lyrics, kid.
Woo! Yeah! Yay.
This is gonna be amazing.
Yay, Tori.
I don't know why they didn't ask me to sing the national anthem.
I do. Me too. I get it. You're a terrible singer.
- You sing like a Banshee. - Oh, shut up!
[ Music ]
♪ Oh-oh say can you see.
♪ By the dawn's early light.
♪ What so proudly we hailed.
♪ At the twilight's, last gleaming...
- I think it's beaming. - ♪ Whose broad stripes.
♪ And bright stars.
♪ Through the perilous fight.
She's doing great.
She's alright.
♪ We watched, were so gallantly streaming.
♪ And the rockets' red glare!
♪ The bombs bursting in air!
♪ Gave proof through the night.
♪ That our flag was still there.
- ♪ Oh say does... - No! Buck!
♪... that star spangled...
Wah!
♪ Banner yet wave...
Ha!
Oh my chiz.
♪... O'er the land of the freeeeeeee.
♪ And the home...
♪Of the...
- ♪ Braaaaaaaaaaave! - Tori! Oh, my God!
Ah!
Well, she remembered all the words.
[ Music ]
- Yay. - You were on TV.
- We saw you. - Congratulations.
You did it.
Heh heh! You got dog-dragged.
Why are they all here?
Mom invited them.
I wanted your friends to be here, to congratulate you, and celebrate.
I didn't know you were gonna mess up the song.
I didn't mess up the song!
I was attacked by a giant dog.
Who I think wanted me to be his girlfriend.
Hey, Tori...
What? What are you gonna tell me?
That someone already posted the video of me online?
No.
About 50 people have posted it online.
Heh.
Oh, my God.
Why didn't you just finish singing the national anthem,
and then get dragged by the dog?
Why don't you ask the psychotic dog
who dragged me across the floor like a chew toy?!
Ugh!
I must have looked so ridiculous.
Well here, I have it cued up on the DVR, take a look.
No, I don't wanna watch myself...
♪... home of the...
♪ Braaaaaaaaaaave!
[ Laughing ]
[ Coughing ]
Tough luck.
I feel so embarrassed and humiliated.
Well, this has been a great party.
Guys, I think Tori wants to be alone.
- Yeah. Maybe we should all go. - Yeah, let's go.
- It's been real. - Okay.
- Time to get out. - Later, Tori.
- You good. - Sorry, guys.
Hey... you want me and Robbie to give you a ride home?
Uh, yeah.
You could just drop me off at school.
School?
But it's nighttime.
Wow.
You sure do know about time.
[ Music ]
- Hurry. - Relax.
- Here, I'll help you. - Don't push me. Don't push me!
Okay, okay!
Hey, you don't have a flashlight, do you?
No.
Wait...
Yes.
- Did you see that?! - Yeah, she went up that ladder.
- Here, I'll help you. - Stop it!
Ow!
- She in there? - Let's find out.
Wait! I'm scared.
I saw a movie once where two teenagers just like us were in a situation just like this
- and when they went in... - Robbie, Robbie, Robbie...
Yeah?
If you don't take your hands off me in the next two seconds, you won't have hands.
One...
Two.
Cat?
Turn it back on.
You guys want some corn nuts?
What are you doing here?
I'll have some corn nuts.
Cat?
Well, I guess I kinda...
Live here now.
Why are you living in a tiny room in the attic of our school?
Well, you know how my brother is kinda weird?
- Uh, yeah. - You've mentioned that.
Well, my parents took him to this special place in Idaho,
where doctors can make sure he gets lots of "mental relaxation"...
And can't escape.
Well, how long are your parents gonna be with your brother in Idaho?
Between six months and two years.
- Two years?! - What?!
My brother's pretty messed up.
Okay, but why have you been sleeping here at school?
Because, my parents wanted me to stay with my,
Uncle Walter and Aunt Pearl but they're mean.
- What's wrong with them? - Everything!
They don't like my red hair, they only eat vegetables,
they said I can't have unlimited texting,
and they won't let me flush the toilet unless it's "absolutely necessary".
So, you ran away?
Uh-huh. I live here now.
Oh, come on! You have to have some other relative you can live with.
- What about your grandmother? - Yeah, what do you call her?
- Nona? - I would love to live with my Nona.
But she moved away, to Italy.
Well, you can't live here.
- No way. - Why?
I've got this rope.
These extra long extension cords.
A light bulb.
So, it's not so bad.
Except when the giant mice jump down from the ceiling.
- Giant mice?! - Oh, my God.
How often do they jump down from the...
Ah!
Ah! Ah! Ah!
[ Music ]
- Yo, Tori! - Hey, Tori.
Oh. Hey, guys.
Did you see the Chris Burm show last night?
No. I was busy, crying in my bathtub.
Show her.
- No, I really don't wanna see this... - Yeah, you do.
Look at this.
And then, this enormous dog starts dragging her all over the place.
I feel bad for her.
So, Tori Vega, if you're out there, come be on my show any time.
We'll let ya sing any song you want.
[ Applause ]
Oh, my God, I'm doing it!
- Eh... - Ya might wanna think about that.
- Why? - That Chris Burm guy...
- I don't know if I trust him. - Sometimes he makes fun of his guests.
So? The whole world's already making fun of me.
- Come on. - Nobody here's making fun of you.
- Bark! Bark! - Hey! Look at me! I'm Tori!
♪ Oh say can you see.
♪ By the dawn's early light...
[ Laughs ]
[ Music ]
So, Tori, tell us...
What the heck happened out there?
Does that dog hate the national anthem?
I dunno. Maybe he's Canadian.
Well, now, we're gonna let you show this audience what you can really do.
I know, I'm so psyched!
I'm gonna sing a brand new song I wrote, called "bad boys".
Yes, you are. But first...
We've got a little surprise for ya.
Oh, my God, what is it?
Nah nah, don't get nervous. Bring him out.
Now, this is Buck, the actual dog that dragged you around the other night.
Yes, I remember him.
Well, since you're getting a second chance to sing,
we thought we should give old Buck here a second chance to listen politely.
Ya hear that, Buck? No shenanigans.
Ha ha ha ha.
But what if he...
No worries. This time, we're gonna tie his leash down so he can't get ya.
Oh.
Okay.
All right, Tori's gonna go get ready to sing her song,
and we'll be back for that, right after this short commercial break.
Bye.
Shh shh.
Okay. We didn't really go to commercial.
We're gonna play a little prank on Tori.
See, when Tori's up here, singing her song...
We're gonna replace the real dog with this stuffed dog...
Now, this stuffed dog is filled with...
Spaghetti.
And, we're also gonna shove one of these inside him.
Now this is a Z-4 Squib.
The kind they use in the movies to blow stuff up.
Totally safe, but...
At the end of Tori's song, I'm gonna press this...
Which is going to make this dog blow up,
and Tori'll get covered in doggie spaghetti-guts.
And the Chris Burm show will be right back!
[ Music ]
Um...
Gimme all your...
Threes.
Go flush.
It's fish.
Robbie, I'm bored, I don't wanna play anymore.
All right. Well, do you wanna play something else?
Like what?
- Argh! - No!
Robbie, you can just go home, I'll be fine here.
No! I'm not gonna leave you in this little, tiny room by yourself,
with rats in the ceiling.
Cat! Grab your stuff, we're going for a ride.
- To where? - To your grandmother's apartment.
But I told you, she moved to Italy.
No. I called your parents. Your Nona moved to Venice.
Right.
That's in Italy, I looked it up.
Venice, California it's 12 miles from here.
Well, that explains why I saw her at the Mall last weekend.
You think she'd let me move in with her in Venice-of-America?
Yes, your parents talked to Nona, and she'd love to have you come live with her.
Really?!
Well, I'll just live there then.
[ Music ]
Okay, we're back!
And here she is singing a song to you,
and the crazy dog that dragged her around the gym floor!
Clap it up for...
Tori Vega!
[ Music ]
♪ All the rules you break.
♪ Make me wanna run, but I can't escape.
♪ All the things you say.
♪ Most of them are lies, but I'm listening...
♪ Yeah.
♪ La la la la la la.
♪ La la la la la.
♪ That's my heart talking to my head, head.
♪ Talkin' to my heart.
♪ La la la la la la. La la la la la...
♪ That's my heart talking to my head, head.
♪ Sayin' that, you're a bad boy.
♪ I'm a good girl.
♪ And I'm gonna get my heart broken in time.
♪ You're a bad boy.
♪ Baby, your world is gonna chew me up.
♪ And spit me out alive...
♪ If I could help myself, you know, I would.
♪ Why do the bad boys always...
♪Look so good?
♪ Gotta let you go.
♪ I gotta let you go...
♪ Because, you're a bad boy.
♪ I'm a good girl.
♪ And I'm gonna get my heart broken in time.
♪ You're a bad boy.
♪ Baby, your world is gonna chew me up.
♪ And spit me out alive...
♪ If I could help myself, you know, I would.
♪ Why do the bad boys always...
♪Look so good?
♪ La la la la la...
Ah!
We'll be right back.
Sync & corrections by P2Pfiend. Www.Addic7ed.Com.